What. A Gift.

 

We finally left the house and didn't go to a medical appointment!

We bummeled around the Premium Outlet Mall for a few hours. 

(It's less busy than most shopping malls. 🙂)

Ken's CT scan results are finally back, and they are clear! 🎉 Ken is NED, which means No Evidence of Disease. (They don't use the words "cured" or "in remission" anymore.) So, as of right now, Ken does not have cancer. Confusing, right? 

"Um, Heather, you told us he has Stage 4 cancer, and there's no 5, so what's up?"

Well, I think there should be a Stage 5! With all the advances in cancer treatments over the past decade, Stage 4 no longer means imminent death, as it once did; it just means that the cancer has spread to multiple places. In Ken's case, the cancer spread from his appendix to his bladder, liver, omentum, large intestine, umbilicus, peritoneum, etc, etc. Yeah, it pretty much blew up in his gut. (Think of doing glittery crafts with small children; the glitter gets everywhere, no matter how hard you try to contain it! 😬) I would like them to create a Stage 5, which would mean "We can't do anything for you, the cancer is too advanced." I know, I know, that's called palliative, but this Stage 4 thingy is too confusing. 

"So how can he now be NED, then?"

Well, the CRS (Cyto-reductive surgery; basically scraping and carving out all visible cancer) and HIPEC (Super-duper strong heated chemo circulated through his abdomen for an hour or so after the CRS) must have accomplished its intended purpose and nuked all the leftover cancer cells, of which there were many. 🤷🏼‍♀️

"Then God didn't heal him?" 

Why limit God?? I mean, He created Dr. Haase, who is an amazing surgeon and super aggressive in removing visible cancer, and He also created the people who created HIPEC...you gonna' try to limit the Creator of all the Earth?!? Not me. I'll just take the clear results with a thankful heart and praise Him for the extra time Ken has here on this beautiful planet. Oh, and yes, God may have simply nuked the cancer cells; we will never know! 🙃

"What now? I mean, is he done with treatment forever, or does he still take meds?"

Unfortunately, when you have Stage 4 cancer, you are rarely "done" with treatment. There are always exceptions, but usually, Stage 4 means the cancer has spread too much to expect it to stay gone. Yes, treatments such as surgery, chemo, and radiation help get rid of as many cancer cells as possible, but there's no way to tell whether the cancer is completely gone at the cellular level. What this means for Ken is that while he is not currently receiving treatment, he will get a CT scan every 3 months (followed by a 2-3 week wait for results 😣). As long as the scans are clear, he will not require any further treatment. However, if the cancer returns, and I'll be honest, from a purely medical point of view, it's more like "when," not "if," then they will resume whatever therapies are thought to be most effective at that time. Appendiceal cancer does not generally spread to remote places like the brain or bones, but recurs in the gut, usually along the peritoneum, which is the lining (serous membrane) of the abdominal cavity and the covering on the abdominal organs.  

"So when will we know if he's actually healed?" 

Good question, maybe never? Due to the rarity of his cancer (0.12-0.16 in 1,000,000), there is not a lot of information available. So, perhaps we can consider Ken healed when he turns 60, 75, or 92? 🤔 No one knows their expiry date, so we'll just continue living one day at a time...not that anyone can live two or more days at a time...just sayin'! 

I had to think of how fitting it was for us to be awaiting Ken's CT results during Advent, which is the ultimate time of waiting. A clear scan is certainly my "most favouritist" earthly gift ever, but the coming of Jesus is even greater than that. Life here is limited to what we see, and while some believe that nothing lies beyond our physical death, I strongly believe that our souls continue on. So, as a parent, sending my child to certain death (but first ill-treatment and torture) is not something I'm itching to do. 😑 The thought that God sent His only Son to die so that I can live with Him forever is more than a little overwhelming. 🥲 And, even more amazing, heaven aside, I get to walk with Him now. Right here. Today. All day. He never leaves me alone, but actually wants to spend time with me, even when I'm grumpy! 😇 That is the ultimate gift: His unwavering love and support for me. Because God is still good, even when life isn't. 

Natalie Grant, a fellow cancer survivor, sings a beautiful Christmas song called "God's Gift To Us." You can find it on YouTube here. The abbreviated lyrics are below. 

God's Gift To Us

There's a story

Of a holy night

In Bethlehem

It's the meaning

Still the reason why

We worship Him

For God so loved the world

For God so loved the world

Glory glory in the highest

The Light of the world has come

Holy holy this is Jesus

The face of unending love

How precious and perfect

Worthy of worship

Savior and Son

Sent down from above

God's gift to us

See the Alpha and Omega

Safe in Mary's arms

He is tender like a whisper

To our broken hearts

Wonderful Counselor

Mighty forever

Father and

Prince of Peace

Mercy unfailing

Majesty reigning

Jesus the King of Kings