Life Is Weird

Life has been weird. 🙃

Not in a bad way, it's just much different than the previous 30+ years Ken and I have spent together. I'm not complaining; I'm soaking it all in. 🥰

But it's still weird. 🤷🏼‍♀️

                                               

Ken and I enjoyed a few days of holiday...in Calgary. 😊

It's a far cry from our former globe-trotting ways, but in no way less precious.

Here we're enjoying the amazing views at The Saskatoon Farm, south of the city. 

We've always joked that Ken would probably drop dead at work in the middle of performing a neurological exam at the age of 92. No one could see him retiring before he absolutely had to; he loves being a neurologist! But apparently, God had different plans. For now. And honestly, this time has been a gift. Sitting in the sunroom listening to Lectio 365 together every morning, praying together throughout the day, and discussing various Bible passages and Biblical concepts has been nothing short of awesome. Heaven feels a little closer when you have cancer. 💗

                                         

I finally got around to baking some cookies this week. 

Ken helped...when he wasn't chatting on the phone, that is. 😁

So yes, Ken is doing well. He still suffers from neuropathy and hyperesthesia, an extreme sensitivity to touch, pain, and other sensory stimuli, which is worse in his feet, though he has some in his fingers as well. Thankfully, he has no bowel symptoms. His chemo brain is a source of great frustration to him and equal entertainment to us! His short-term memory is absolutely awful, and his word-finding challenges a source of great annoyance. For someone who once communicated with patients all day, kept insanely long to-do lists in his head, and rarely forgot a name, this has been tough. If he doesn't write something down, he won't remember. Unfortunately, recalling where he wrote it down has also been a challenge! 😬 Thankfully, I'm here to laugh at him whenever he needs to lighten the moment. 😇 Not really, but I remember how strange I felt post-chemo, when my formerly relatively well-functioning brain felt like it was betraying me. And I wasn't ridiculously brilliant! You can either laugh, cry, or get mad, and I prefer to laugh. (Besides, you get in many more steps when you have to run downstairs repeatedly because you keep forgetting why you went down in the first place!) Basically, Ken has turned into a menopausal woman minus the hot flashes.😁

                                               

A Northern Flicker in the tree next to the sunroom.

Tomorrow is the first of his follow-up scans. He will get these every 3 months. 😲 I may have jerked in surprise upon hearing this. I had 2 scans 6 months apart after my battle with breast cancer, but now I only need them once a year, so hearing that Ken would be getting them every 3 months was a bit disconcerting. Obviously, we're praying that the scans are clear; logically, that's rather unlikely. 🙏🏼 However, if there's one lesson we've learned as a family over the past 3+ years, it's that living within the will of God is the best place to be. Oh, no one said it would be easy, and there are no promises that we'll understand some of the challenges we face, but nothing compares to walking with God. Tangibly. As in, feeling the presence of the Holy Spirit so strongly that you look around, expecting to see Him. 

So yeah, life may be different, it may be challenging and full of uncertainties, but God remains the same, He has promised to never leave us, and that's enough. It's more than enough; it's a tremendous blessing.

I recently stumbled across a beautiful song, well, not really, God has a way of bringing music into my life, just when I need it. "In the Middle of a Miracle" by Emerson Day is a beautiful reminder that God still works miracles; I'm proof of this. You can find the song on YouTube. (I apologize for the spelling and grammatical errors in the video...it's not my work! 😆)

Middle of a Miracle

Standing in the middle of the wreckage with nothing left

And there's no way of knowing what comes next.

You're crying out for answers 'cause you never guessed

That you would be here, that it would look like this.

You're trying to hold it all together with your own two hands,

And He's telling you to let it go and let Him in.

You don't see it, but you're right in the middle of a miracle

You can't feel it, but under your feet, new roots are taking hold.

Don't forget that, with God, all things are possible.

Doesn't matter if it's broken or just ashes, there's hope;

You're right in the middle of a miracle.

Before the prison chains ever broke, there was a captive.

Before five thousand were fed, there was just one basket.

If there was ever gonna be light, there had to be darkness.

Before there was ever an empty tomb, there was a cross first.

You don't see it, but you're right in the middle of a miracle.

You can't feel it, but under your feet, new roots are taking hold.

Don't forget that, with God, all things are possible.

Doesn't matter if it's broken or just ashes, there's hope;

You're right in the middle of a miracle.

You have a future,

'Cause He has a plan.

I promise, He's got you

You're still in His hands.

You have a future,

'Cause He has a plan.

I promise, He's got you

You're still in His hands.